is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I have post one night stand depression
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
