So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You dont lie about slip and slides
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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