I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
