How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
