Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
