you guys were way drunker than both of me
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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