:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
