ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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