with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
