apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
