I wish you could order shots online.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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