I heard we made out
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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