Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
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