I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
