Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
