k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
