Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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