i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
