My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
