Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
