1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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