a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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