I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Randomize
