Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
