took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
