Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
