We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
