Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
