I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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