This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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