My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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