Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
