If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
