Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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