so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
