If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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