Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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