she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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