Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
