We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Can vaginas get frostbite?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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