My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
