That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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