I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
