Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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