No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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