She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
