I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
