Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
