He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
