dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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