also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
