i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
